Anti-Resolutions

Annie from Annie On Writing tagged me for this unusual about anti-resolutions. It's meant to get your creativity going… so please play along..

The rules:
• List ten things you resolve not to do in the upcoming year.
• Be as creative as possible.
• Post them on your blog and leave a link to your blog in your comments to this post - oh and invite other writers you know to either visit Annie's post - or mine - or yours - or all of them and post THEIR links to them.

1.) I will not let the public know that I was a passenger on Oceanic Flight 815 when it crashed. I've been living on this damn island for 5 years now, but because of the internet it's been hard to pin-point my LOST location.

2.) I will not post on Ebay the potato I grew last summer that looked like the Virgin Mary. I may post the carrot shaped like George Carlin, but not the potato.

3.) I will not force my daughter to work at the drive-in theater just so I can get free popcorn when I watch a movie. This doesn't include the yummy, chargrilled cheeseburgers - Must. Have. More.

4.) I will not drop Mentoe into a 2 liter of Coke while my neighbor is out sunbathing. On second thought, maybe she'll put some clothes on ...

5.) I will not walk backwards around my neighborhood and tell the little kiddies that gravity is now working sideways.

6.) I will not answer the phone "Joe's Pool Hall, Joe speaking" in an attempt to keep my brother-in-law from calling the house.

7.) I will refuse to accept the crown for "Supreme Ruler of the World" this year - everyone knows it is bad luck to accept the crown during an odd year.

8.) I will not use special hidden messages from my blog posts to send signals to space aliens from another galaxy. Everyone knows they can't read English!

9.) I will not knit any more scarves for the house gnomes that live under my staircase.

10.) I will not substitue ExLax for chocolate in my homemade chocolate cake in an attempt to "have my cake, eat it too, and lose weight."