This week's Sunday Scribblings is Scandalous:
Have you got some juicy gossip? What about a bit of scandal? Have you caused a commotion in your life? Would you like to? In this week full of politics and financial woe, let's add a bit of spice and fun, shall we?
I'm the type of person that likes to hide from the world, so I'm not much for causing scandals. I guess the closests I come to a scandal is when I divorced my first husband. I was the first person in my family to ever get a divorce and I felt like an outcast for years.
All during high school, I dated the same boy. Neither one of us had ever dated before, so we had a connection from the very beginning. The problem is, now that I look back on that time in my life, we fought like cats and dogs. After years of therapy, I realized I was afraid if we broke up, no one would ever want me.
We married when I was still a senior in high school - I was 17 and he was 18. We had our first child when I was 20, and the second one was born 18 months later. After dating for four years, and being married for six years, my childhood sweetheart decided he didn't want to be married anymore. He left me and the girls and immediately started dating a woman who was 10 years older than him.
Yes, that's right - not only did I get a divorce, but my husband left for an older woman. Obviously, there were cougar already roaming in the early 1980s.
The first year after my divorce, my life was in free-fall. I had been a stay-at-home mother since my first child was born. Now I had to find a job and leave my babies at daycare for the first time in their lives.To make a long story short, during the second year after the divorce, I started dating again and I was attending nursing school. Then, four years after the divorce, I graduated from nursing school, got my nursing license and remarried a wonderful man.
This was almost 20 years ago and I have never been happier. Although I still have aunts and great-aunts who think it is awful because I got a divorce, my immediate family is behind me 100%.
After such a tramatic ten year period in my life, I choose not to rock the boat. God willing (and the creek don't rise), my scandalous days are over.
18 comments:
Sometimes it's good to be the scandalous one in the family. I think it's better than doing what you're supposed to. It sounds like this happened so that down the road you would be much happier. What hard times those must have been though. I am glad you made it through and found happiness and joy.
Gosh, I thought maybe I wrote this...well except for the nurse part. BJ
You obviously felt guilty at the time, but now you realise you're one among millions. Not scandalous, but lucky.
Such an encouraging story. Struggle makes us strong.
Scandalous is sometimes in the eye of the beholder. Instead of scandalous, you sound strong and able to me. And now I hope happy as well.
Usually my sister is the scandalous one in our family. Not that she is really that bad. My dad does not approve of all the funky hair colors and clothes she wears. I got to be the scandalous one a few years ago however when I got pregnant with my son. And I wasn't married or planning on getting married. GASP!!! Actually my family was very supportive but I could still tell that it embarassed my Dad to no end. But he loves his grandson and would not give anything for him.
Choosing to be the scandalous one seems to have given you a more joyful life. Your strength is remarkable.
girl,, that's not scandal that's life... and tisk tisk to those who still feel that divorce is a black mark next to your name...
send them on over to my little corner of the world so they have some real debauchery to compare it to!!!!!!!
i love it when i get the opportunity to step inside someone elses world.. you did that for me today... thank you....
Scandalous to think that attitudes remain so negative.
I can relate. My mother's famous saying was "you made your bed now lie in it." You were smart to get out early. I stayed over 22 years before getting a divorce.
In India, it is still scandalous to get a divorce at some laces. . I think we are living in stone age!
I say, you are lucky. Hugs!
entangling
you've written my story to a "T" - we were never high school sweethearts, but the divorce and nursing school resonate with me - i felt like a goldfish in a bowl while all my extended family wrang their hands and prayed the devil wouldn't get me --- then i realized that the judgements were the stuff they had to own and deal with, and i lost them in a cloud of dust as i took off to make my life and many more mistakes - they made their own fair share, but just hid them more skillfully --- great story - thanks for sharing!!!
I'm sure it must have been hard to be the scandalous one at the time, but your life certainly was better for having lived that scandal.
I fear that is the scenario for our oldest kid. But you know, you could have stayed and how bad would that have been for you, your growth, your future. Sometimes the scandalous thing is the right thing. And I'm so glad it's turned out so well for you!
This story sure resonates. Not the nursing school, but the so-called scandal surrounding an early marriage and the subsequent divorce sure rings a bell. Rest assured, you are better off now.
Sometimes it's good to rock the boat!
Congratulations! Your scandalous behavior led you to survive and flourish! I hope there were some happy times with your first love, but the fact remains he left you. Instead of letting that be the defining moment, you chose to embrace the future for yourself and your girls. Enjoy each day!
Somethings just don't work, it is not a reflection of who you are as a person. If others want to judge, let them, in the end, it is their failing, not yours.
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