Sunday Scribblings - Trust

Sunday Scribblings #151 - Trust

The prompt this week is: Trust. Today for some reason I think of it in terms of money left, and the games that we used to play to team build at summer camp. I'm not sure what that says about today! Who do you trust? Who do you not trust? What does it take to earn yours? What would you do if you discovered you had money in one? What do you think about trust?

TRUST

Coming from a past where my trust was betrayed more times than I care to count, I can say trust is not an easy thing for me. "Once bitten, twice shy" as the saying goes.

As a young child, I trusted my parents and my grandparents with all my heart. This trust still holds today - no matter what I was doing, or not doing, I always trusted these people.

When I was a young teenager, I fell head over heels for my first real boyfriend. To my eyes he was perfection and I gave him my trust without the blink of an eye. As I grew to know his family, I was overwhelmed and thought they were the most wonderful people in the world. It was not hard to give them my trust.

It wasn't until a few days after the birth of my first daughter that I realized the husband I idolized had betrayed me. He had been carrying on an affair with an older woman at work the entire time I was pregnant. He broke my heart and my trust and I still carry the scars to this day.

Coming from a Christian background, I had to look deep inside myself to figure out what to do. After weeks of praying, I forgave my husband for his misdeeds - after all, we had a small child, what else could we do?

Life was not perfect after this crisis, but we were both trying. However, I was finding it hard to trust him, and I don't think I ever truly trusted him again. But I was trying.

We went on to have another child and I finally thought my life was back on track. I still loved my husband and slowly the trust was growing back. We had moved from a mobile home into a home we had built on the family farm.

I should have known fate wasn't done with me. Just a few months after our youngest daughter turned 2, my husband of 6 years announced he was leaving. Apparently when I thought we were both on the right track, I find it was only me on the right track. He had started another affair with a different woman - deciding he would rather be with her than his family.

I thought his family would be on my side, after all I was the faithful wife, I was the victim. When I found out his mother knew about the affair almost from the beginning, I was crushed. Instead of her telling her son he needed to support his children and wife, she was behind him all the way.

Fast forward 4 years from my divorce, and I was getting remarried to a wonderful man. My current husband is the total opposite of my ex. But my poor husband had to go through several years of me not totally trusting him. I lived in fear that I would be betrayed again.

Fast forward 19 more years and I remain happily married to my second husband. My trust, faith and love have grown to encompass our entire life. I trust my husband to love me and not betray me. I finally have a stable live full of love and happiness.

So, yes, it is hard to earn my trust, but when I finally do trust someone, I trust them with my entire heart, soul and being.

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Fiction Friday

Fiction Friday #83: Challenge for December 19, 2008:

Write a short scene, with exactly two characters that involves a terrible Christmas (or similar holiday) present.

The Beginning of the End

"You know you're ruining Christmas for the girls, don't you?" Libby stood with one hand on her hip and the other wiping the flood of tears from her eyes.

"I'm not ruining Christmas, Libby - stop being so dramatic. The girls are now going to have more Christmas than they used to." Ronnie continued to throw clothes from the dresser into his worn suitcase.

"More Christmas! They are going to be separated from both of their parents. I don't consider spending Christmas Eve with me and Christmas Day with you more Christmas!"

The confrontation had been brewing for almost a week, since the day Libby got the phone call from the other woman.

"I hope you know he's leaving you before Christmas. Ronnie and his girls will be spending Christmas Day we me." Libby learned several hours later the woman was Peggy, an older woman who worked with Ronnie. Apparently they had been carrying on an affair for the past 18-months; it started just before Libby gave birth to their second daughter.

Libby was beating herself up for not noticing the warning signs sooner, but with a new baby and a second child under the age of two, her days and nights were filled with childcare.

"Look, Libby, the girls are going to be fine. They will get some extra presents this year and they'll never know the difference." Ronnie closed the suitcase and headed into the living room.

"No, Ronnie, it's not going to be fine. What am I supposed to do?" Libby was trying hard not to get hysterical, but her world was falling down around her.

"Well, I guess you'll have to get a job, won't you!" Ronnie walked over to the gun cabinet he had built last year. Unlocking the door, he removed two rifles and a pistol, leaving behind the bow. He looked the door back and walked to the door.

"What about the girls? How am I supposed to get a job and watch the girls at the same time."

"Libby, grow up. Women can work and care for the kids - you'll just have to put them into daycare." He opened the door and walked the guns out to his truck.

"Daycare," Libby screamed from the front door. "You want me to but the girls in daycare! We've never even had a babysitter for them other than our mothers!"

Ronnie walked back to the door; Libby refused to move out of the way.

"Let me in Libby." He pushed his way past his petite wife.

"You can't do this, Ronnie. What can I do; I'll do anything to make it better." Libby hated the pleading tone of her voice. "Just tell me what to do. Think about the girls - this is going to effect them for the rest of their lives!"

"It's over Libby - there is no more trying. And the girls will be fine. I'll call you in a few days to make arrangements for Christmas Day." Picking up his suitcase, he walked out of the house for the last time.

"Where are you going? You're going to HER house, aren't you? You son of a bitch! I won't let another woman be a mother to MY children. Do you hear me? These are MY girls and she's going to stay away from them!" Libby knew she was screaming incoherently, but she couldn't stop herself. This couldn't be happening. After 6 years of marriage to her high school sweetheart, her would was crumbling down.

"You damn sucking mamma's boy! I hope you'll be happy together! You can both rot in hell!" Libby slammed the door and collapsed under the Christmas tree. The house was quiet. Praying out loud, Libby asked God to help her.

She was still on the floor under the tree when her almost 3 year old daughter came walking down the hall, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Libby picked herself up, forced a smile on her face and scooped her daughter into her arms.

Saying another prayer to God, she silently asked for strength to protect her children and make their lives better.

Sunday Scribblings #135 - Scandalous

This week's Sunday Scribblings is Scandalous:



Have you got some juicy gossip? What about a bit of scandal? Have you caused a commotion in your life? Would you like to? In this week full of politics and financial woe, let's add a bit of spice and fun, shall we?

I'm the type of person that likes to hide from the world, so I'm not much for causing scandals. I guess the closests I come to a scandal is when I divorced my first husband. I was the first person in my family to ever get a divorce and I felt like an outcast for years.

All during high school, I dated the same boy. Neither one of us had ever dated before, so we had a connection from the very beginning. The problem is, now that I look back on that time in my life, we fought like cats and dogs. After years of therapy, I realized I was afraid if we broke up, no one would ever want me.

We married when I was still a senior in high school - I was 17 and he was 18. We had our first child when I was 20, and the second one was born 18 months later. After dating for four years, and being married for six years, my childhood sweetheart decided he didn't want to be married anymore. He left me and the girls and immediately started dating a woman who was 10 years older than him.

Yes, that's right - not only did I get a divorce, but my husband left for an older woman. Obviously, there were cougar already roaming in the early 1980s.

The first year after my divorce, my life was in free-fall. I had been a stay-at-home mother since my first child was born. Now I had to find a job and leave my babies at daycare for the first time in their lives.

To make a long story short, during the second year after the divorce, I started dating again and I was attending nursing school. Then, four years after the divorce, I graduated from nursing school, got my nursing license and remarried a wonderful man.

This was almost 20 years ago and I have never been happier. Although I still have aunts and great-aunts who think it is awful because I got a divorce, my immediate family is behind me 100%.

After such a tramatic ten year period in my life, I choose not to rock the boat. God willing (and the creek don't rise), my scandalous days are over.