How are your holiday preparations coming along? What aspect of the holiday season scares you, if any? How are you coping with your fear? Are you writing about it — or evading it?
One Step At A Time
This holiday season I'm trying to take a layed-back approach. I'm trying not to hurry, I'm trying not to stress, and I'm trying not to go overboard. These are all things that have defined my Christmases past.Actually, I have not enjoyed the last 3 Christmases - since my sister died in 2005. But this year I'm making an effort. I have the Christmas tree up and I've been doing some baking. I've also been busily knitting all my family members scarves and matching hats. But I'm trying not to rush things - trying to take it one step at a time.
I don't think I fear Christmas - it's just the overwhelming sadness from the hole left in my heart. Writing helps me to overcome the sadness, and as a matter of fact, I have finished several short pieces relating to my sister. For some reason, getting my feelings down on paper makes them easier to deal with. If it weren't for my writing, I'm not sure where I would be. Probably in some deep, dark hole with my head covered up.
One step at a time ... one step at a time ...
2 comments:
I love this post. It reflects so much of what I feel.
"Actually, I have not enjoyed the last 3 Christmases - since my sister died in 2005. But this year I'm making an effort."
That's such an encouraging statement. It's difficult to move forward, though, isn't it? This is my second Christmas without my sister. I think our sisters would want us to go forward, don't you? It will make us stronger.
I hope you find peaceful moments this holiday, and joyful ones as well.
Hi, Bobbi -- This is a beautiful post, and one to which I can relate. Yesterday was the 15th anniversary of my dad's death. And yes, it was better. And yes, it still brings a lump to my throat.
I don't really "fear" Christmas, but I do fear my own manic tendencies at this time -- trying to do everything right, too much, too fast... I love doing those things, so I take them all on. Then I crash!
I know this is a tough time for you -- one day at a time, I think. I know you have your wonderful and loving family and that counts for an awful lot. Maybe there's even an extra angel on your side. I think so..
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