Sunday, September 21, 2008

Sunday Scribblings #129

This week's Sunday Scribblings is invitation:


"Come on down - it'll be totally fun!"

Famous last words, but when you have social anxiety, it's hard to put yourself in that type of situation. What if I panic and have nowhere to run? What if the pressure tries to squash me like a bug under foot? What is the walls close in on me? What if there are so many people I won't be able to breath? What if? What if?

"I'm sorry, but I've made other plans to tonight. Maybe next time?"

I'm lying through my teeth, but only my immediate family can tell. Most people don't notice the sweat popping out on my forehead. Most people don't notice my breathing has become rapid. Most people don't notice my hands start to shake. Most people don't wonder about the hugeness of my eyes. Most people don't care; most people don't want to know. But my family knows and my family cares. They comfort me and try to say all the right things, when deep down inside they are really wondering what the fuck is wrong with me...

3 comments:

SweetTalking Guy.. said...

Come on down, sometimes we need to take just one step at a time. Writing this is like climbing a mountain.

Well done you!

paisley said...

you are not alone.. i seldom leave the house,, and when i do i have to do so for a valid reason,,, entertainment is nearly ever on the agenda... its ok tho,, it gives me more time to be alone with my thoughts and write...

susan said...

I this is true and not a fictional piece, I hope you can get to a place where you feel free to choose when want to be apart of a group and when you want to be alone. Not feeling free to choose must be difficult.

And kudos if writing is apart of your process of connecting.