This week Sunday Scribblings: bragging.
"I don't like myself. I'm CRAZY ABOUT MYSELF!" -- Mae West
What's awesome about you? You can pick one awesome thing, or list as many as you can. Don't be shy!
I've never been good at bragging about myself - bragging about my children, that's a big YES! But bragging about myself is hard. Although I dabble in any number of things, I wouldn't say I was profeccient at any of them.
One thing I am really proud of is the monthly column I write in the Mercer's Magazine, a subsidiary of our local newspaper, The Harrodsburg Herald. I have been writing personal essasys in the magazine for over 12 years, with no signs of slowing. Although I get much positive feedback from my family and other readers, I mainly write the column for me. It is a personal way for me to relate the memories of my past.
Recently, I've become involved in a writing workshop at the local public library. The gentleman leading the class has been very informational and he has helped me improve my writing tremendously. Last night, I was invited to attend a meeting of his personal writing group - a group of writers from the community who have been meeting together for years. After much soul searching to overcome my anxiety, I made myself attend. I'm so glad I did.
I have never been much of a social butterfly, but in the three years since my baby sister died, I've been hiding away more than usual. I realized this summer if I was ever going to break out of the comfort zone I have surrounded myself with, then I was going to have to become social again. This has been a slow, agnoizing process for me.
I first started my blogs, mainly to get my work out into the universe of the world wide web. By doing this, I was moving out of my comfort zone, but not far enough for me to interact with people face-to-face. After a few months of blogging, I joined my first face-to-face book club. I had been reading the monthly books all year, but hadn't the courage to attend. One month this summer I challenged myself to go, and I have been attending for the past four months. Each month, my comfort level grows and grows.
My next step was signing up for the afore mentioned writer's workshop. I had tried this several years ago, but dropped out after the first class. This time I was determined to stick with the entire 8-week course. I am proud to say I am 6 weeks into the course and loving every minute of it. I have become comfortable with the other participants and we are starting to share ideas.
So you see, attending the writer's group last night was another big step for me. I wasn't totally comfortable being with people I didn't know (although I did know about half of the people), but I will continue to attend. It may not be bragging, but I'm proud of the efforts I have made this year, and I plan to continue working on putting myself into the public eye.
Who knows? Maybe I can make myself participate in a poetry/short story reading that will be taking place in our community the weekend after Thanksgiving. I couldn't make myself attend the last public reading, but with the encouragement of my new friends, I may give it a whirl.
Pride in myself is a hard pill to swallow, and bragging just makes the pill much harder to go down.