For the past 30 years, my life has consisted of work and raising a family. I sacrificed through three years of nursing school to become a Registered Nurse, knowing this career would allow me to provide for my children. I worked almost thirteen years as a labor and delivery nurse; twelve hour night shifts, three to four days a week. The first few years were exciting and I enjoyed providing for my family, but when my youngest - Christine- was a baby, I felt like I was missing out on the best part of life; I had already missed so much of my older two daughters' lives. As Christine grew up, my discontentment with working grew. Was my job worth missing the formative years of my last child?
No matter how much I missed being at home with Christine, our family had become trapped within a vicious money cycle and I felt compelled to continue working. When Christine was nine, I finally left night shift and the high risk area OBGYN. The problem now was that I was working with the extended care patients; I would become attached to my patients and then they would die. No matter how much I enjoyed talking with and working with my patients, the overwhelming depression surrounding this type of work continued to grow. After the death of my sister in 2005, I realized I couldn’t pretend to be happy any more.
I had to make my family a priority again. These were the people I was working so hard for, but it didn’t matter how much I worked if it continued to keep me away from my family. I took several months off work to get my life back in order and to reconnect with my family. We have downsized our style of living and reprioritized the goals for our future. I have never been so happy.
Of course, you solve one problem and another one will present itself.This year I again started questioning the reason for our existence. What does God really want from us? I feel like He is looking down on Earth as a whole and He is very sad because of the segregation and lack of humanity all around us. Why is America the wealthiest country in the world, but the people of Africa are dying and starving in droves? Why didn’t the US use the money it spent on the Iraq war to make food drops and provide medication for all those who suffer?
Why doesn’t the United States provide for the homeless in our own country? Why do so many American children live below the poverty level if we are the supposed richest country? Why are we trying to keep Mexican immigrants out of our country when we are a country founded on immigrants? With the exception of the Native Americans, none of us would be here if it were not for immigration.
We come from the wealthiest nation in the world, but there are so many people suffering in the United States. Our government representatives need to be more concerned with the people instead of being dictated by big business. It is a shame that lobbiest are the people who are really controlling our nation instead of the middle class, blue collar workers. It is a shame pro-sports players make million of dollars per year, but police, firemen, and other first responders are barely scraping by. It is a shame Hollywood and media entertainers make millions of dollars per year, but school teachers have to count every penny.
I know we are not supposed to question God's plan, but hink about it: why are we here?
© Bobbi Rightmyer
