Sunday Scribblings
The prompt this week is: Somewhere...
What do you make of that?
Somewhere, over the rainbow - bluebirds fly ...
There are some days when I wish I was somewhere, anywhere but where I am. Since the death of my baby sister 3 years ago, I have been battling depression, and most days it seems like it is winning.
Some days, I wish I was somewhere in the past. Some place where my sister is still around and we spend our weekends watching vampire movies and talking of the future. Somewhere in those memories, my life is tangled up in the happiness that was and the bitterness that is.
Somewhere, I lost myself in the pain of grief. Unable to move forward, longing to move backwards. Shunning a social life because it is too damn hard! Hiding away in the comfort zone that is my home, refusing to come out for days ... sometimes weeks on end.
Somewhere in all that grief, I have to force myself to work my parttime job, leaving my haven to enter the House of God where I spend my mornings. But with the noon hour, my day is done and I race for home like the devil is on my tail.
Somewhere I lost myself, and I haven't a clue how to find my way home. The love and support of my family keeps me going, but still the darkness invades, zapping my strength and weakening my resolve.
Somewhere, there is an answer to my problems, an answer to the strife that has filled my waking hours. Sleepless nights bleed into manic filled days, each one scarily similar to the last.
Somewhere, my future awaits, bright and shiny and full of hope. It will come to me as sure as the sun sets and the moon rises, the fog in my head will clear and I will see my old self smiling back in the mirror. Until that day, struggle forth, determined to win the battle, but fearful I'll lose the war.
Somewhere, my heart will be free and will finally bond with my head. Life will be grand again. Love will abound. Hope will flutter in the very air that I breath. Somewhere, somehow, my suffering will be over and I will rise above this monster of depression. Healthy, whole - scathed from battle, but not scarred for life.
Somewhere my future awaits.
