The Hormone Guide

A friend of mine sent me this and I thought it was hilarious - so I'm passing it on to you. Women will totally understand this! Men should really memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands!

This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS - What's for dinner?
SAFER - Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST - Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE - Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS - Are you wearing that?
SAFER - You sure look good in brown!
SAFEST - WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE - Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS - What are you so worked up about?
SAFER - Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST - Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE - Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS - Should you be eating that?
SAFER - You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST - Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE - Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS - What did you DO all day?
SAFER - I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST - I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE - Here, have some wine.

(Photo copyright Anna Vikoria; by Nikki Hardin and Caitilin McPhillips; illustrated by Traci Dabrake)

12 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Plainly; Men Suck

11. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one:

12. Potential Murder Suspect

Forward this information to all of your friends and those who might need a good laugh ... and men who need a warning.

Oh and, have some wine.