My Schizophrenic Muse

I think my muse is schizophrenic. Don't laugh, I'm serious. Or maybe it's must bipolar like me. Okay, so maybe I really am crazy, after all, I did just give my muse a personality.

Although I have been writing gang-busters for the past few weeks, the writing is not taking any coherent form and I jump from one project to the next. I realize that jumping from one project to another is my typical writing style, but I really get the feeling my muse is trying to tell me something.

The one thing I really want to be working on is the least thing I've been paying attention to. Granted, I have written at least a dozen poems in the past month - and some of them I even think are good - but poems are not going to help me get my book finished. I've written an essay and 2 pieces for my Super 70s column. I've written several book reviews and several captions for the "Harrodsburg" book I'm working on with a local historian.

I have been really excited about the release of "The Women of Mercer County" because I have 3 essays in this book. I'm also super excited about the upcoming release of "Speaking Out Volume 2" because I will have one essay and at least 5 poems in this collection. I should also have an essay appear in the fall release of "New Southerner's" Anthology. And I am very proud of all these accomplishment ...

... but I think they are detours for my muse; easy ways to get my mind off what I need to be doing. So while I have completed another chapbook of poems and submitted it to a writing contest, the book I want to finish is lingering in the background. The book is being so quiet, like it doesn't want to draw my attention to it, praying that my muse will be enough to distract me.

Maybe I'm being melodramatic. Maybe I'm just imagining things. Maybe my id and my muse are plotting an evil takeover. Or maybe my muse is schizophrenic and I'm just crazy enough to realize it.

Write on Wednesday

This week's Write on Wednesday asks:

What’s your writing state of mind these days? How do you access that “mysterious faculty” where insight and imagination are nurtured? How do your instincts about your writing ability help you? What’s your experience of being in “the writing zone”?

Inspiration comes to me like a lightening flash - quick, sudden and to the point. I have learned to expect the suddenness of the muse and try to prepare in advance. I'm one of those writers who keeps a notebook on my nightstand table, in the bathroom, in my car, in my desk drawer at work and on my kitchen counter. I always have pen and paper available to jot down the lightening flashes when they hit.

I know exactly what it means to be in "the writing zone" - those moments of pure writing pleasure when your muse and your writing hand are in tune and they move as one instrument. There have been times I've been lost to my writing and I lost blocks of time out of my busy day. I have learned to cherish these writing frenzies for what they are - inspirational, joy-filled, and productive.

The problem is, those moments of zone writing are few and far between. Most of my daily writing can be reduced to notes jotted down with breakfast, quotes remembered over lunch and inspiration captured from the love of my family. These precious writing memories are just one piece of the puzzle that is my writing career.

It has taken me years to accept my writing style. When I first began writing seriously - over 20 years ago - I thought everything I wrote had to be perfect from the beginning. This mentality kept me from producing the quantity of writing I knew I was capable of. Once I learned to embrace my notes and doodles and scribbles, I became a better writer and my life changed forever.

You don't have to produce a manuscript in one sitting. All those memories learned from families, all those conversations heard over lunch, all those quotes you remember from your reading - all these things shape you into a writer and give your muse the fuel it needs to grow on.