Dear Neighbor #7

Dear Next-Door-Neighbor,

I am a better person than you. Your life must be so void of anything else to do that you feel the need to mess with my life. I am the better person and one day you will get what you truly deserve. Until then, I'm going to try and never think of you again. If you can't handle that, then tough - move away. We were here first.

Sincerely,

Your Next-Door-Neighbor

Dear Neighbor #6

Dear Next-Door-Neighbor,

Just because you think it's hot to mow your yard 3 times a week in your pink bikini, doesn't mean we should have to look at it. This is a child-friendly neighborhood, so please cover up - or at least wear a decent shirt.

Sincerely,

Your Next-Door-Neighbor

Dear Neighbor #5

Dear Next-Door-Neighbor,

Please don't throw your nasty cigarette butts in my yard and flower beds. Number one, it's just plain rude! Number two, you may get lung cancer - and wouldn't that be a shame. And number three, you smoke while driving a gas-powered lawnmower - one day you may just go BOOM!!

Sincerely,

Your Next-Door-Neighbor

Dear Neighbor #4

Dear Next-Door-Neighbor,

It may be hard for you to believe, but yes, I do leave several portions of my backyard unmowed. It provides food & shelter for birds & other small creatures. Worried about mice and snakes - well, the pair of red-tailed hawks seem to be taking pretty good care of them - not to mention the feral cats roaming the neighborhood and your little yappy dogs barking all the time. If we keep destroying natural habitats, then we will suffer in the long run.

Sincerely,

Your Next-Door-Neighbor

Dear Neighbor - #3

Dear Next-Door-Neighbor,

Why, yes - that was me giving you the one-fingered salute as I have driven past your house the past few days. Petty, I know, but very satisfying nontheless. I just hope you're able to capture the image on your 2 video cameras sticking out of your front windows, because taking a picture last mu...ch longer.

Sincerely,

Your Next-Door-Neighbor

Dear Neighbor - #2

Dear Next Door Neighbor,

If you feel the need to throw your rotten tomatoes somewhere, why not use a d**n trashcan - or do the natural thing and compost. My yard is NOT your trashcan. If you want to throw it into MY compost heap, that's one thing, but don't just pitch things into my backyard. Seriously, you may wake ...up one day with rotten tomatoes on more than your backyard.

Sincerely,

Your Next Door Neighbor