I've forgotten how to hope,
I've forgotten how to be

happy,
smile,
laugh.
I can't break free
from this constricting fear
that is consuming my life.
Panic descends
and rips everything I've ever known
from the even keel I seek.
Rapid breathing, speeding heart,
skin draped in a cold sheen,
threatening with an aura
of out of control thoughts.
I long for peace and quiet
from the chattering voices in my head ...
not good enough
get it over with
run and hide.
I long for the manic
to chase away this depression;
I long for relief,
long for calm
for stability
normalcy.